Head, Heart, House

On the second episode of THE COMPANY WE KEEP, host Jason Pearl dives into the core philosophy that guides his business and personal life: Head, Heart, House.

All right. All right, let's do this again. This is Jason Pearl coming to you with this second episode of The Company We Keep podcast.

Appreciate you listening and joining.

Excited to discuss a topic with you today. I know last week just gave you a bit of an introduction to who I am, what I'm all about, my story a little bit, and the platform that I'm coming to you at with, This Company We Keep podcast.

As we develop this, I thought today would be a really great opportunity to really start to dive into the story a little bit behind my platform and what I really feel like I'm called to talk about on this podcast, and what I share with my clients, and what I share with people personally as well.

And obviously as I talked about in the beginning of the first podcast who I am and what I'm all about.

So again, told you guys, I'm a father, I'm a husband, and own my own growth consulting agency called Nacre Consulting and in what I've found and what has been developed over the past almost four years of building out this business that I've had success building out, is really just the true importance that I feel it is to connect with people as human beings, and really understand who they are to be able to ensure that they can be successful, long-term from a business perspective.

And again, whether you're listening to this and you're a business owner, or you're a high-level executive, or where you're just like consuming some content and you just thought, hey, you check this out.


What I'm going to talk about today, I really truly believe can be used in both personal situations, as well as professional situations.

I happened to be coming at this from what has made me successful as an individual in business and how I help manage teams, but I've been able to adopt this process I'm going to roll out for you guys in my personal life as well.

And it's not rocket science, right. But I think oftentimes as human beings, again, whether it be business or in personal relationships in our life, we always are looking for that life hack.

We're always looking for that shortcut or that silver bullet to try to make something happen or make something grow faster than it’s supposed to grow, or just get results that maybe are unneeded or unwarranted in a really short period of time.

And that's kind of what I want to talk about.

So, I explained before in episode one kind of that platform of head, heart and house and how that has impacted me professionally, how I teach it, and how it helps me personally as well.


So again, giving you background, I have been in a management capacity in some way, shape or form for the better part of the last 18, 19 years.

So, graduated from college in '01 and got directly into high-level management running retail branches for Wells Fargo.

So, at a very young age, I was thrust into an opportunity to manage people.

And when you manage people, especially as a younger person, there's a significant amount of relationships that you have to build to really quite honestly be taken seriously.

My first management assignment as an assistant manager, I was 22 years old.

The first assignment I got as a full-time manager, running my own branch, I was 23 years old.

So, at a 23-year-old kid I mean, gosh, I barely had my life together at 23, let alone having to manage people that were twice my age.

But it was such a wonderful experience that put me into a situation where I really had to understand people, understand not only what they're saying, but how they're acting, what's going on with them, their verbal, their nonverbal cues, all of those things.

So again, from a management perspective at a very young age I was thrust into it.

And over the past 18, 19 years, I've been able to develop a very digestible, very easy to understand process that I call Head, Heart, and House, three pronged.

But I believe that when it comes to understanding people, truly understanding people whether it be just understanding them so you can have a better relationship with them personally, or whether it be professionally, I think there's three key areas that you have to understand.

And I wanted to lay those out for you guys today, give you some bite-sized stuff.

And then have you, maybe after this podcast digest some of it think about where you fall in these categories, then think about what you do professionally and how this concept may be able to help you, then also think about the relationships in your personal life.

Think about the relationships that are maybe going well. Maybe those that aren't going that well, and then use this framework and this method to see if there's ways that maybe you can identify areas of improvement for yourself or for others. So, let's get started on that.


So, the first pillar is head. So, when people say Jason, "What do you mean by head?"

There's a lot that can be thought of when you say, like what's in someone's head.

Our brains are amazing, God given organs that were put into our body, and in the things that it can process, at the speed that it can process, and how it can make you feel is obviously critically important.

When we're talking about the head, I want to give you some bite-sized ideas of what I'm talking about.

So, let's just talk about it from this end. And again, let's talk about this from the lens of adult to adult.

When you're thinking about dealing with somebody personally and professionally, what's going on in their head?

So, let's talk about their educational background, right?

Depending on what profession you're in or what this interaction looks like, what's going on, how did they come up?

Were they educated, where they, did they go to college?

Are they PhD's or, what do they have?

And I'm not saying that you have to understand what someone's transcripts said but having an idea of maybe somebody that you're trying to build a relationship with its background, it's discovery, it's asking questions.

So, when you're dealing in trying to understand what's going on in someone's head, one of the first things that you need to understand and identify with is, where did they come from? You know what they're all about.

I know right now there's so many different personality tests that you can look at.

And the personality test doesn't just encompass what's going on in someone's head, but it really does break down a lot of what's going on in someone's head.

So, for example, I know that I have been a proponent and used DISC before, so that's a fairly popular personality test that people do.

I'm a D, so I'm a dominate driver, all those things that come along with being a D.

But the interesting thing about this is my personality type has changed since I became a business owner, and I became a high-level consultant for growth.

And why is that?

Well, it's because the actions in the way that I needed to succeed in the professional realm I was entering, I needed to be a heck of a lot more dominant.

Prior to that I was a D-I, right?

So, it was pretty high D, pretty high I, love to get energy from other people, love to be around people, liked like compliments, and liked that energy I got from other people.

I still have that in me.

I still love that.

I still love collaborating and doing all those things, but in the role that I play now, professionally, it’s made me more on the D end of DISC than I.

By the way, disclosure, I'm not a certified DISC trainer, I don't claim to be, but I know enough about it to know like what I am in my personal profiles and how to interact with others that are not like me.

So, from a DISC standpoint was a D.

Enneagram, I'm a three.

So, I'm an achiever.

I'm driven to have success and strive and achieve.

I work with Wealth Dynamics with my personal coach, Nick Cavuoto, shout out to Nick, he's great.

He walked me through this exercise and I'm a "Creator."

And then there's Big Five and in some of the others. The Big Five is super comprehensive, and I really enjoyed going through that process with one of my friends, Jessica Schimert, who walked me through that with one of my clients.

And the thing that was really interesting about my Big Five profile is the fact that I have a high-risk level when it comes to business and personal relationships.

And that's pretty interesting because most people that know me and know my background, I was a pretty steady guy where taking risks early on was not something I was really excited about.

But one of the things that affected that was the fact that I was married young, had a young family, and I was a sole provider of my family.

So, taking risks that would put maybe my wife or my kids in jeopardy was something I wasn't willing to do at that stage in my life, but now doing what I do and the kind of how established I am, I can operate in high levels of risk and high levels of stress more than most.

And again, as an entrepreneur, if you don't have a risk tolerance that's fairly high. Being an entrepreneur is probably not for you. Same thing with being a CEO or high-level executive.

But when we talk about the framework of Head, when you're dealing with somebody or working with somebody, understanding what's going on in their head, their makeup, that's why you're seeing throughout business and even like churches, they're doing all sorts of personality tests to understand how to communicate more effectively with people, and how to get better results through these situations and communication, which obviously makes a ton of sense.

So again, I'm not here to say I'm reinventing the wheel.

But my framework is what I've used for years.

And I think it's something that if you use it, you'll have success with as well.

So how do they process information?

So, some people that I deal with are very quick on their feet to process.

They want to hear what you have to say, they will process it, and give you immediate feedback.

Then there's others I've worked with that is, no better, no worse, that's like, I need to sit on this for a minute.

I need to think about this. I'll get back to you based on what you just presented me or based on what we just discussed.

So, understanding how people process information, especially when it comes to a management side of things, you can't lay out this huge elaborate plan to your team, if the majority of people on your team, they're processors, right?

They need to go back, they need to think about it, they need to review, and then respond to maybe what your challenge is, or what your ask is, or what you've proposed to them.

Understanding all of those areas is really critically important to effective management, and ultimately, for what I do and what I want to share with you guys, it's growth.

If you're looking to get growth out of people, you need to understand what's going on in this category.

We're going to talk a lot more about this, but I wanted to give you a high-level framework of how this is built.

Again, that's Head.


Moving forward, the next is Heart.

And Heart is a really interesting thing to learn about others.

You hear those people say, "Oh, he or she wears their heart on their sleeve."

You know what I'm talking about.

And it's more than just that.

When you're dealing with an individual, they do have a core makeup.

They have a core makeup of not just what we talked about with how they were raised and, what school they went to, but there's a core makeup of how God created them.

And from a core makeup, there is experiential things that fall into that shape your heart, that shape what's in it, and shapes how you feel, and shapes how you react to things.

One of the things that I know that is really an interesting concept, especially if you're married, there's the Love Language concept.

There's a book that was written, there's an application, there's a website that you can do.

As a matter of fact, traveling home from visiting my in-laws this past weekend, my wife and I went through a Love Language assessment as I was driving down I-90 here in upstate New York, going from Syracuse to Buffalo, we had a little fun with going through Love Languages and what our core makeup is, and how we like to receive love is oftentimes how we show love.

My wife and I always joke that kind of opposites attract, right?

My Love Languages is Physical Touch, first and foremost, and is Quality Time.

And my wife's Love Language is very opposite than mine, Touch is very low on her Love Language assessment, but Acts of Service is a very big.

Act of Service is very different than Touch, so if I do things for her, that's how she feels that I love her.

It's a very digestible book and a very digestible concept.

So, I highly recommend, especially if you're married or have kids or anything like that.

They have a kid assessment as well that you can go through, but it really is a very digestible breakdown of how to understand how people show love and how they want love.

But when you're dealing in managing somebody, you're trying to build a relationship with somebody to grow.

You really need to understand things of that nature.

Now I'm not saying that you're a manager and you need to go put your employee through a Love Language test.

I'm not saying that, but there are ways you need to understand how they operate and how they want to receive things versus how they like to give things.

That's a big part of the Heart.

Also, too, in that area is passions.

What are you passionate about as an individual?

Cause oftentimes what you're passionate enough about as an individual is going to identify where you are in your best state.

So again, one of the best people I work with and know is this guy by the name of Nick Cavuoto.

I just shout out earlier, he calls it "flow."

When you're in flow, when you're the best version of yourself, what are you doing?

And likely that state is where you're super passionate and the things you're super passionate about.

Understanding that side of things, when it comes to others is very important.

Understanding their passion.

Another big thing about Heart is understanding people's faith identity or faith stance as you guys know, and again this isn't a pulpit to preach, I'm a Christian, and it's an extremely important part of my life.

As I said in episode number one, and I'll continue to say.

My motto in life that was faith, family and everything else. So, faith first helps me identify how I want to treat and how I need to act with my family.

And then everything else it's prioritized because if I have faith first and I have family clearly second, that creates a hierarchy for me, of where I want to spend my time, and what I need to do, and what motivates me professionally to be able to get to do those things in priority.

So, I think faith stance is huge in understanding where people stand, and that's just not having strong faith that could be, not having any at all could also help you understand the way you need to interact with folks to get the best out of them.

And then there's, there comes like happiness and fear and competitiveness and things of that nature.

And all of those things are core to your Heart.

I'm sure you can think of somebody in your family or a friend that you have or somebody, you know, that's ultra-competitive, right?

Like ultra-competitiveness, it's coming from the Heart side.

So, it's something that you definitely need to understand.

So, we've gone Head, and reviewed what's going on in the Head.

We've also just reviewed, high level of Hearts.

And then the final one is household or house.


Head, Heart, House or household.

This is the really interesting one because from a Household standpoint, what's going on in your household oftentimes will affect the other two categories and could, and sometimes will change behaviors based on stress or motivations that you have.

Perfect example, financial situations.

You hear oftentimes, the worst position to be in is to be desperate, because when people are desperate, they make choices that normally they should not make.

So same thing in this, when you're dealing with somebody, you're dealing with a relationship and you're looking to get something good out of that relationship, whether it be growth or connection or things like that, understanding what's going on in someone's Household is critically important.

I can think back to, personally, times where, financially, I was struggling and as the head of a household, and as the head of a family, and struggling financially - when you feel desperate or you feel backed into a corner, it's a terrible feeling, right?

So that's going to affect the way you deal with everything else in your life.

Think about those people that maybe have a short fuse.

You say, "Hey, I didn't mean to set you off. I just asked you a quick question," and then maybe they blow up on you.

There could be something really going on in their Household, that you don't know about, but that's setting them off, because household side of things can affect everything.

And it's not just money motivation, right?

It's not just like what's going on financially. It's what's important, and what's going on in your household.

So as a father, and as a husband, and as a parent, flexibility for me in this stage of my life is really important.

That impacts the decisions I make professionally.

So, if I had a client that came to me and said, "Hey Jason, I need you to do this, this, this, this, and this. And I need all of your time, you need to be here, and you need to travel here, and you need to do this."

Because of what's going on in my Household right now and because of how I prioritize based on my Heart, I'm likely gonna say, "Listen, thank you, but no, thank you. I may be able to help you with X, Y, and Z, but I can't do all these other things."

Because it doesn't fall into my Household motivation, as well as my Heart motivation, and really in my Head motivation.

And the key to all of this is keeping all of them in unison and being able to understand how to react to each of them.

You need to understand when you're dealing with relationships professionally or personally, what's going on in the Household. So, we talked about financial situations, and how they change people, change behaviors based on maybe financial stresses or financial success.

Think about the people talking about new money, or whatever. And people that just recently maybe had a windfall of money, but you've got a number of different factors there.

There's the financial situation of the household

Is the person you're building this relationship with or trying to manage, are they married?

What does that look like?

How's their relationship?

What's cooking?

What's going on there?

Those are certain areas that, you know, will always impact, right?

Maybe you're married and there's two working parents obviously. And flexibility because of that is critical.

So, if you're trying to manage someone to trying to get growth out of somebody, and you're telling them that they have to stay late and come in early, that's going to drain them.

That's going to shut them off to what you want to do.

So, you need to understand, what's happening from a Household standpoint.

And again, I kind of said like the Household issue in this framework of threes, is the wild card because when the household is settled and good and maybe predictable and happy and all of those things, it's a lot easier for people to have like happier hearts and really understand and create action based on the things that make them feel good and their passions and other things like that.

And then same thing with the Head.

But if the Household is in disarray, it's going to create confusion.

It's going to create issues.

It's going to create problems, right?

So, when you look at Head, Heart, and House, if they're not in unison, there's going to be problems.

And that's where I think I have tried to do the best I could to understand the people that I'm trying to grow.

The people that I try to connect with, the clients that I work with, their motivation. I'm kind of giving you the framework here in this episode.

We're going to talk about really specific situations, very professionally outlined, and then maybe even some personally outlined later in this season, but it really is important to kind of understand this framework.

And one of the things that I wanted to do. Is without, you know, going on and on and ranting about this.

Just the information I've given you so far on Head, Heart, and House is enough to digest now.


As we go, and I continue to record episodes, one of the things I'd love for you guys to do is maybe have a little homework after this podcast: think about what's going on individually in your Head?

What's going on in your Heart?

And what's going on in your House?

And I'd love to be engaged with the audience.

I'm not doing this to just talk into a microphone and hear myself talk.

I love engagement. I'd love for you to connect with me.

You can connect with me at poscast@jasonmpearl.com.

Again, that's J A S O N M as in Matthew, pearl.com.

So, you can email poscast@jasonmpearl.com.

And if you go through and do this Head, Heart, House exercise with yourself to understand where you think you're at - I'd love to hear what you learned from that.

I'd love to hear “Oh, did that maybe trigger some thoughts” or ideas of where you can improve, or did that create some clarity for you? I'd love for you to engage with me and do that again, as we've talked about before, if we're not connected on LinkedIn, shoot me a LinkedIn request. We'd love to connect on Instagram @jasonmpearl. Shoot me a follow request, try to post as much as I can, would love to be interactive with you guys again, the whole platform here and why I'm doing a podcast is to create interaction and to create relationships and maybe. Use some of the experience that I have to help you generate more growth-driven relationships in your life, both personally and professionally. So really excited about this. Excited to have number two in the books, looking forward to having you listen and consume some more episodes that I've got. But in the meantime, hook up with me. Shoot me a note and definitely want to hear how you guys are processing. What's going on in your head, what's going on in your heart, and what's going on in your house.

All right. Until next time this is Jason Pearl. This is The Company We Keep podcast. Looking forward to hearing from you again.